Andromeda's Adventures in Panda Patch
I made my way to Sheffield, which is in the North of England, after sitting in a cardboard box for an unknown number of days. I am a VIB (very important bear), and was surprised at the lack of urgency to get me to my destination, humph!
When I was finally allowed out of my cardboard prison, I found myself at customs waiting to go into Panda Patch, where I will be staying with my new hosts. I was greeted by a strange gentleman with an eye patch, and a rather large gun. He made me surrender all my sweeties! This was apparently ‘routine’, as he pointed to the 'no sweets' sign on the wall. I didn't know that Panda Patch was a sweet-free zone, as the one-eyed man soon advised me. Grudgingly I handed over my stash of lollipops. Who am I to argue with a man with a gun? I think he said his name was Serpent…
After I had my passport stamped, I was shown to the bus stop, and I was told I should get off at the 5th stop - Panda Town, where my hosts would meet me. The bus that emerged from around the corner of the Customs and Immigration Office was a rickety old thing, and I had been forewarned that it had broken down in two consecutive issues of the Sylvanian Club Magazine.
The bus groaned as it pulled into the bus stop, and exhaled a huge cloud of thick smoke as the driver put on the handbreak. All the passengers coughed as it crept in through the open windows on the bottom deck. I worried that perhaps this wasn't a great idea, and that I should have booked a taxi instead.
When I was finally allowed out of my cardboard prison, I found myself at customs waiting to go into Panda Patch, where I will be staying with my new hosts. I was greeted by a strange gentleman with an eye patch, and a rather large gun. He made me surrender all my sweeties! This was apparently ‘routine’, as he pointed to the 'no sweets' sign on the wall. I didn't know that Panda Patch was a sweet-free zone, as the one-eyed man soon advised me. Grudgingly I handed over my stash of lollipops. Who am I to argue with a man with a gun? I think he said his name was Serpent…
After I had my passport stamped, I was shown to the bus stop, and I was told I should get off at the 5th stop - Panda Town, where my hosts would meet me. The bus that emerged from around the corner of the Customs and Immigration Office was a rickety old thing, and I had been forewarned that it had broken down in two consecutive issues of the Sylvanian Club Magazine.
The bus groaned as it pulled into the bus stop, and exhaled a huge cloud of thick smoke as the driver put on the handbreak. All the passengers coughed as it crept in through the open windows on the bottom deck. I worried that perhaps this wasn't a great idea, and that I should have booked a taxi instead.
A soot-covered bear hopped off the back of the bus and wheezed as she patted down her jacket, "tickets to Panda Town, Panda Square, and Pacman Shrine, please!" Other Sylvanians began to pile onto the bus, and I got squashed, squished, and squeezed during the flurry. Suitcases were hauled into the back, prams folded and shoved into any spare nook and cranny, and soon the seats were full.
"Oh bother", I said out loud. The bus crawled out of the bay with the weight of all it's passengers, and creaked along the road until it was out of sight. I looked at the timetable, and there wasn't going to be another bus for over an hour. I would be too late to meet my new hosts! I sat on the curb with my pile of suitcases, wondering what to do. I didn't have a phone, and there was no phone box I could see so I could ring to let my hosts know.
"Oh bother", I said out loud. The bus crawled out of the bay with the weight of all it's passengers, and creaked along the road until it was out of sight. I looked at the timetable, and there wasn't going to be another bus for over an hour. I would be too late to meet my new hosts! I sat on the curb with my pile of suitcases, wondering what to do. I didn't have a phone, and there was no phone box I could see so I could ring to let my hosts know.
I was in the middle of nowhere, and there was no one around to ask for help. I sunk head into my paws, as the only solution I had was to walk. And even then, I didn't know where I would be walking to. As I begun to lift myself up off the curb and cram my suitcases under my arms, as if by magic, a pink fuzzy car appeared in front of me. In the driver's seat was a white cat, with black eyes, a yellow nose, and erm, no mouth.
"Oh this is just great," I thought. "My one way out of here, and I'm stuck with a cat with no mouth! I HATE THIS PLACE!" The cat's whiskers twitched, and she slowly turned around in her car to face me, lowering her gaze. "Just because I have no mouth doesn't mean I can't talk", she hissed. A large bead of sweat dropped down my face. Not only could this cute kitty talk without a mouth, but she could hear my thoughts too.
"Sorry" she said. "I get quite sensitive about my lack of mouth. It's a disease called Sanrioitis. Uncurable. Oh and I've been watching too many episodes of Medium recently, so I've been able to tap into other critters thoughts. You don't mind do you? Good. Okay, so being as I can see into your mind, I know where you need to go. Don't ask how I got here. I don't really know. I think I'm a filler. Are you in the car yet?"
The mind boggles.
I climbed into the fluffy car with my suitcases, and we zipped off into the direction of Panda Town. I hope my hosts aren't as crazy as this driver.
"Sorry" she said. "I get quite sensitive about my lack of mouth. It's a disease called Sanrioitis. Uncurable. Oh and I've been watching too many episodes of Medium recently, so I've been able to tap into other critters thoughts. You don't mind do you? Good. Okay, so being as I can see into your mind, I know where you need to go. Don't ask how I got here. I don't really know. I think I'm a filler. Are you in the car yet?"
The mind boggles.
I climbed into the fluffy car with my suitcases, and we zipped off into the direction of Panda Town. I hope my hosts aren't as crazy as this driver.
Chapter Two
